Little miss Melody is the only girl of the family and is very much adored. We took these photos before yet another boy joined the crew, and we had a lot of fun with all the flowers and dresses and pink. Now, if you know me you know that I am a big proponent of being mindful of not forcing gender roles onto children, but I am happy to report that Melody also loves riding on tractors and playing in the dirt, and it will only be a matter of time before she’s on a snowboard with the rest of us. Her dad happens to be my uncle, the “adventure” uncle who bought me my first guitar, taught me to snowboard, and took me riding on the back of his snowmobile. I have no fear that this little girl in a big family of boys will have plenty of opportunities to do and be and wear whatever it is she wants.
As a family photographer I get asked a lot about how to dress your children (and yourself!) up for a session. Professional photos can be a big investment and of course you want everyone to look great. While I would suggest some things like avoiding fluorescent colors and big patterns or logos, I think it ultimately comes down to what makes your family happy. Most of us these days spend a lot of time on various forms of social media and we see a lot of what seem to be perfect people. There are the perfect young couples who travel the world, eat only gourmet food, and live in apartments that look like they belong on the cover of magazines. There are the families with always smiling babies in stylish matching clothes that are never stained or dirty. They pose happily and naturally whenever their parents want and of course they never throw tantrums. They don’t even know what a tantrum is! And no one ever steps on a lego on the carpet and accidentally teaches the four year old some choice swear words.
But you aren’t those people. You are a real family full of love and tears and so many legos on the floor. I want to tell your family’s true story, not put you into a box with those imaginary families on the internet. If your daughter LOVES sports and will be the most joyful in a colorful jersey or shirt with a big sports logo on the front, you know what you should do? Let her wear it. If your son likes to stick bandaids all over his legs or always wears a certain hat, let him! Because ten, twenty, fifty years from now you will open a photo album or click on a long forgotten online archive and be overwhelmed with memories and love and that thick wonderful shiver of nostalgia. Maybe your son will show them to his child who loves a special hat now. Maybe there will be tears.
In the end, all family photos will become precious one day, no matter what you decide to wear. But if coordinating outfits and trying to perfectly style a rambunctious toddler’s hair is causing you stress, then forget about the outfits! Throw on whatever’s clean and come let me capture your love and not just your appearance. What ties your family together has nothing to do with what you wear, and I will tell your story exactly how it is, bandaids, tantrums, and all.
